Back in the Saddle

Aloha from The Tiki Texan!  First of all, I wish to apologize for the extended absence.  Long story short, my father had a sudden illness and passed away in May 2019, and I took some time to deal with that loss.  Then, that time turned into a little more time to enjoy the self-pity party.  I’m never one to turn down a party.  Even the not so good kind.

But a friend, Cris H., invited me to Las Vegas to see Aerosmith in their Residency at the Park MGM Hotel.  Nothing like hearing Steven Tyler telling you it’s time to get Back in the Saddle Again to get you motivated!  So, saddle up your horses, we’re moving out… and on.

While in Las Vegas, we made the short trek off the strip to visit a classic tiki icon, The Golden Tiki.

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The Tiki Texan, about to enter the hallowed halls of The Golden Tiki

From the moment we walked in the door, manager DeAqua Morgan rolled out the red carpet for us.  We were taken back to the VIP section, and were coached through the extensive menu by the awesome staff.

 

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A personal tour through the menu

After we ordered, DeAqua personally gave us a guided tour of the bar.

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This mermaid has really large… fins

This place has everything.  Part curio museum, part pirate den, part mermaid lair, part amusement park ride, all classic tiki.  They even have a collection of shrunken heads!

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Owner Branden Powers and his wife are among the trophies

Almost every attraction is interactive in some way.  Fire bursts from rum barrels, or you can hear the knocking of someone locked inside, begging to be let out.  Even the urinal in the men’s room insults you as you use the facilities!

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What’s the difference in an old joke and what you are holding?  Not everyone laughs at an old joke.

While we were there, we had the pleasure of meeting Chief Mixologist Adam Rains, and Michael Davidson, CEO of Black Infusions.

Black Infusions produces naturally-infused artisinal spirits that are free of artificial sugars, flavors, and colors, reserving the authentic colors and tastes from a single source of flavor: dried fruit.

I can’t wait to try the concoctions these two came up with.  Hopefully on our next visit.

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Michael Davidson, CEO of Black Infusions, The Tiki Texan, and Chief Mixologist Adam Rains

I mentioned earlier that this place has everything.  And they do.  They even have authentic Dole Whip!

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The Tiki Texan samples his first bite of Dole Whip

Another thing they have, in abundance is… well… phalluses.  Phalluses everywhere.  Everywhere.  In the portholes, on the door handles, and on almost every tiki statue in the place. Even in the shrunken head trophy case!

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It is sad when Ron Jeremy’s shrunken phallus is way bigger than your own normal one

There is one particular tiki idol, back near the Dole Whip machine, which is said to bring particularly good luck if stroked.

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Giving the full reach-under did not improve my performance on the slot machines

If you have ever been to any tiki bar with me, you know that I can be very picky about what I like and what I don’t like about the bar, and this joint has everything I would want to craft into my own tiki bar, should I ever open one.  I had NO complaints whatsoever.

Wait.  Yes I did.  One.  One thing did not fit.  During our stay, it occurred to me that we were not hearing Martin Denny, Robert Drasnin, and the lords of Exotica that I would demand at my tiki bar.  Instead, I was listening to Kenny Loggins sing ‘Vahevala’ and ‘Brandy’ by Looking Glass.

Not being shy about expressing my opinions on such matters, I went up to the DJ and told him I was curious about the choice of Yacht Rock over Exotica.  He kind of looked puzzled for a moment, and said “Well, sir, you ARE here on ‘Yacht Rock Sunday’.  It’s an advertised event.”

I heard him finish in his mind with … ‘you dumbass’.  But he didn’t say it.

And that sealed the deal for me.  This place may be the perfect tiki bar.  Aloha until I see you again, DeAqua, Adam, and all my friends at the Golden Tiki.

And I *will* see you again!

 

 

3 Comments on “Back in the Saddle

  1. The Golden Tiki is the bomb!
    Great write up. We will be back as well!

    Like

  2. Great Blog entry. Thanks for allowing myself, Kristi H, and Bobbie F. to come hang out. We appreciate the Tiki History and Tiki Drink Lesson. Can’t wait to go back to the Golden Tiki next time, and of course with The Tiki Texan.

    Like

  3. Dude, this is such an awesome blog post. More Tiki adventures please !!

    Like

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